deepest darkest secret

It's ironic how we change, how a trait we were once heralded for suddenly becomes something we're not good at at all.
I find myself avoiding life. I used to be the person that people wanted to be like, happy, full of life, eager to start my day and experience the world, and over the past couple years I've lost that vigor.
I still love experiencing things, I just don't love experiencing anything that makes me remotely uncomfortable.
Part of me wonders if the wounds caused by the past will ever go away, while the other knows that I'm so close to getting better, and all I have to do is reach down inside and find extra strength to keep going.
I've been blessed by the many people in my life. It's clear that G-d wants me to succeed, I just have to start believing that I want myself to succeed. I can't keep letting life hold me back. I can't cheat myself of the experience. I will not squander any longer.