i want to go home.

i've lived in nyc for nearly 2.5 years at this point.
and i've made zero close friends.
there is no one i want to hang out with.
there is no one that i'd like to divulge my secrets to.
literally no one.
this makes my relationship stronger.
marc is truly my best friend.
i have two close girl friends.
and at the end of the day they're good people.
they make mistakes, they have problems, they have joy, and we share it.
they're healthy relationships and my friends are simply, good, normal, intelligent people.
and it's so hard to find that here.
granted, i was always the type of person to have 10 male friends for ever girl friend i had, and i can't do that anymore.
but dang. why can i not make a friend that is normal that is a girl?
is there something wrong with me that i'm not catching onto?
or is the place?

i heard the strangest word today three times.
i know how to say it but not spell it.
so i can't write it.
three seperate occasions too.
it's very seldom that i hear a word that i don't know that well.
i wonder if the world somehow tangos with itself and this all intertwines.
and that's how god teaches us.